A rite of passage - Welcome to my Blog!

At some point everyone goes through a major change in their life, a transition between one stage to another. Very often it is a frightening experience, other times a joyful one. Whether it is moving to your own apartment, graduating from college or getting married, this shift marks a new chapter in your life. Fancy celebrations, such as housewarming parties, graduations and weddings can make the transitions more elaborate, but it can still be difficult to completely commit to a new role. The old "me" wants to stay with us.

Some months ago I received the wonderful news of having been accepted to one of the world´s top universities. Having been building my career as an Oriental dancer for the past 8 years a part of me felt uneasy. As if she were shaking her head in disapproval, saying "Don´t you do this... Don´t you pack me into a box and leave me dust on the shelf..." Not that she wasn´t happy for the huge opportunity I had got. She was worried what´ll happen to the "old" me, the Dancer, after I become the Scholar.

But since belly dance was and still is an important means of financial support for me, I found a useful way to combine the dance and my academic ambitions. I effectively put my skills and contacts in use to raise funds for my studies and threw a fundraiser cocktail party. The event took place in May in Alanya, Southern Turkey, hosting around 70 guests and several performers, including myself. After paying all costs I managed to raise around 500 €.

It took me only about 30 minutes into the event when I realized, after the venue had filled up with people, that it wasn´t about the money at all. Yes, I can´t deny that money is the central reason for having a fundraiser. But the fact that all these people had shown up just for me, to support my ambitions and enjoy my performances, was incredibly empowering. Being "the new girl in town" in a muslim country, earning money with belly dancing - I was definitely faced with challenges. But it all worked out well and I had gained so much more than funds for college, but genuinely supportive, invaluable friends.

Now that I am back in Estonia from Turkey, we had a small gathering with some of the talented girls from the Estonian Oriental dance community. 12 girls from different (we can say rivaling) dance organizations, all having a laugh and enjoying themselves till early morning hours, taking with them positive emotions and inspiring ideas. If being a dancer was about striving to be the most successful, most talented or most sought after, we would only end up alone. And that isn´t very inspiring. It is about sharing and supporting - sharing the passions, ideas and concerns, supporting the hopes and dreams.

So I thought, you know... Sometimes, even though your position in life changes, it doesn´t mean you have to change your being with it. Being an Oriental dancer is not a stage in my life, its a part of who I am, it is a kind of way of being. A way of moving through life with grace, dignity, confidence, in harmony with myself and others. Perhaps I am going against the rules here, but I never want it to change. I never want to lose that extraordinary feeling of bellydancing through life...