Eeben - Bellydancing Through Life

Riot, Don´t Diet! - Girls out on the Streets

2011-11-03T16:13:00.000+02:00

Women´s voices can be heard loud and clear on the streets of Oxford, drawing attention to such problems as human trafficking and sexual violence against women. I was lucky to attend two of those events here.

On 18th October "Pretty girls" were for sale, to mark the UK’s Anti-Slavery Day and the EU’s Anti-Trafficking Day. It took place on the busy Cornmarket street in the heart of Oxford and introduced pretty girls in cages who were being auctioned by men in suits. The organisers of the event also recruited actors from the Oxford Student Union to give the performance a more realistic feel. Indeed, they succeeded. The aim of the event was to raise awareness of sexual trafficking and urge people to open their eyes against signs of it, because it is not a general problem that is somewhere "out there", it happens right here in Oxford.

Two men were recently convicted for trafficking at least three young women from Romania into Oxford and forcing them to work as prostitutes. The men managed an escort agency "Fun Girls in Oxford" offering sex for money in hotels and clients´ homes. Sadly, this is not an isolated case, there are thousands of sex trafficking victims here in the UK, the majority of who are girls aged 12-25.
The organisers urged people to look out for signs of human trafficking, such as:
- Foreign nationals who rarely leave the house without a guardian or older unrelated males.
- Frequent visitors to residential premises, often a stream of men.
- Groups of men meeting regularly with girls who are not included in general conversation.
- Commercial premises that survive despite the lack of regular business.
- Sex workers who offer "special services" at a low price, who appear underage or speak little or no English.

Here you can see a BBC News report on the event and you can actually see me lurking in the background at 1:00 minute or so :)

Caged 'girls for sale' in Oxford

Shortly after the "Pretty Girls for Sale" event, the Reclaim the Night march and rally took place on 28th October. Reclaim the Night is initially a feminist movement that has taken international dimensions. Today it has become a regular rally and protest march against rape and other forms of sexual violence. The movement can be traced back to the 1970´s in the US and Europe where women marched demanding the right to move freely in their communities at day and night without harassment and sexual assault. The marches are usually deliberately women-only in order to symbolize women's individual walk through darkness and to demonstrate that women united can resist fear and violence. In Oxford as well, the only women marched through the city streets, while men later joined us at the rally to raise awareness of the reality that violence against women is continuing, is inadequately addressed, and is the responsibility of all of us.

Champagne, Ceremonies and Marches - settling in Oxford

2011-10-28T13:51:00.000+03:00

These few weeks have passed getting accustomed to Oxford life and studies. So far I´m loving it and hope that things can only get better. Apart from having caught some kind of a cold virus circulating among the students, I´m feeling happy and relaxed (and increasingly busy)!

The culmination of the first few weeks was definitely the matriculation ceremony in the Sheldonian Theatre. There are very strict dress code rules here in Oxford when it comes to formal events. The participating students and professors must wear a subfusc, meaning a dark attire including gown. The students must also have their mortar boards, the squared caps, which they are not allowed to wear on their heads, but must carry with them. After a scandalous event where students who had photos of them wearing the cap inappropriately were stalked on Facebook and expelled(?) (not sure how this urban legend actually went), we took the rule very seriously and resisted the temptation to take photos with the cap on.

So after having our official college photos taken, the 200 or so graduate students of our college paraded through the streets of Oxford, attracting lots of attention from excited tourists, to the Sheldonian building where the ceremony was supposed to take place. We were gathered into long rows on the courtyard and had plenty of time to take photos of each other making faces, taking photos, of tourists taking photos of us, of the building, of the long rows outside, of our subfuscs, of shadows created by clear sunny weather and so on. Anticipation was high after 40 minutes of waiting...

When we were finally led in, the view inside was
spectacular. The frescos on the seiling, gold-framed paintings, pillars, squeky floors, hundreds of students dressed in black, serious looking professors, medieval looking guards at doors, a golden throne... It was amazing. I was one of the last people to be seated and the ceremony started shortly after that. A professor walked over to another, took of his cap a couple of times, walked over to the throne and said something in Latin. A speech followed on how blessed we are for being Oxford students. And in 10 minutes it was over and everyone was free to go and drink champagne.

And drinking champagne and wine is as much part of the Oxford experience, as is heavy reading and studying. One must balance things out I guess...

But there is really a lot going on out here that I want to share with all of you who are following, and expect to see posts of different events very soon. The next event will already take place tonight - the Reclaim the Night march and rally calling for an end to end all violence against women and girls! I will be sharing the experience with you soon!

Here´s some more information about the event:

Why Reclaim the Night?

The facts speak for themselves:

- 3 million women each year in the UK experience some form of sexual violence
- In the UK 23% of women are sexually assaulted in their lifetime
- 91% of these attacks are by someone they know
- There are nearly 7,000 incidents of domestic abuse reported in Oxfordshire each year
- Approximately 7 women each month report a rape in Oxfordshire – around 20% of the number of rapes that take place
- 10 women a week take their own lives because of domestic abuse or ‘honour’-based violence.

Oxfordshire's Reclaim the Night march was revived in 2008 to provide a safe and empowering space for women to march to demand an end to violence against women and for men to join them at a rally to stand together in solidarity and show their support. Violence against women is everyone's problem. We hope you can join us.

And a link to their webpage:
http://oxfordfeminist.ox4.org/rtn

The beginning of a love affair - First days in Oxford

2011-10-01T00:09:00.003+03:00

After almost a year of preparations and waiting, I have finally arrived in fabulous Oxford with its even more fabulous university! Here are the first images of this historical and beautiful city. Can´t wait to start experiencing all it has to offer!

Examination Schools of Oxford University

High Street

My lovely room with an exclusive sunrise view every morning

Oxford is a city of bikes. Before I get one I have to get used to the traffic!

A girl reading at the doorstep of the Sheldonian Theatre

A guided city tour for international students of Oxford University

A sweet coffee house on High Street offering Turkish "breakies"

Lost in Oxford side-streets

I definitely want to be at one of those events!

Philosophical Oxford - walls, doors, fences and lanterns

A wicked shop of cool vintage stuff on Turl Street

Gates of the Sheldonian Theatre

And myself :)

Danse Macabre - Inspired by the death of things

2011-09-15T02:55:00.001+03:00

We were hoping for a long summer this year and the weather really seemed to be cooperating. But yesterday autumn came. While the day before was perfectly green, yesterday morning the yard was suddenly completely covered in yellow leaves. The wind was blowing like crazy and you couldn´t understand whether it was raining or not. The sky had been fully cloudy since morning, as if to officially declare that the time of darkness has arrived.

I felt this moment should be celebrated. Everyone who has ever lived at this latitude knows why its special. It is nature´s way of smiling and saying: "I´ll be back!". It is a time when every living thing starts to prepare for the long and dark sleep - people and animals begin to collect and preserve food, mosquitos and flies disappear, snakes go underground, birds migrate. I was so inspired! Like a devotee who brings offerings to the sun hoping it will rise again next morning, I wanted to show my appreciation for nature´s abundance as if to let her know I hope to enjoy it again in spring.

So I looked around in the yard and tons of yellow leaves were lying around and I thought, hey, they would make a beautiful wreath! I could picture it so clearly in my mind, hanging on the porch. I put all my other tasks on hold and got completely lost in gathering fallen branches from the ground, cutting dry reeds and berries, and trying to fit them all into a perfect circle. I have no idea how long it took me to finish - I completely lost track of time - but when it finally was, I hung it on the porch. The perfect circle celebrating nature´s perfect cycle.

In the summer we have lots of birds flying around and making noise, but they had all disappeared from sight. You could only hear dogs howling in the distance. The wind was blowing really hard, trees were bending, the sky grey and later rain started to pour. My wreath was turning and spinning in the wind, leaves were breaking off the branches and being blown away. It was magnificent! A moment later it was calm - no wind, no rain. No people around.

It is the same with dance - it exists while its being performed, when its over, its gone. Much like an autumn wreath, a dance is created from different ideas - leaves, reeds and berries picked up from the abundant soil - and strung together by a thin thread of the creator´s imagination. It is then hung to spin in the wind - the merciless time that rips and dries the leaves one by one, until the wreath is dead. Finally it will decompose into earth where it came from and produce soil for new leaves, reeds and berries, to grow and inspire new people. A perfect circle, the dance of death always hand in hand with creation and life.

A part of "Danse Macabre", a famous 15th century painting by Bernt Notke in St. Nicholas Church in Tallinn, Estonia

"Danse Macabre" or Opus 40 by the French composer Camille Saint-Saëns.

Image from www.spiritwolf.se

Don´t imitate, innovate!

2011-09-06T20:04:00.004+03:00

It is very easy to be special if you happen to be Estonian. When you compare the number of Estonians with the population of the world, you must agree that we are unique - there´s barely one and a half million of us on the planet. The Estonian language is spoken by an even lesser amount - about a million people. The fact that I am writing this blog in English actually makes a lot of my fellow Estonians frown. Our language is basically the only thing left defining our nationality now that we have become part of the EU family and switched our currency from Kroon to Euro. It is only the beginning, they say, worried that we will soon switch identities as well...

Therefore, one can notice a very active state-driven campaign these days promoting everything "ethnically" Estonian. Starting from translated foreign business signs, ending with folkloric patterns on shopping bags. What do I think of it? I shall express myself like some Estonians express their views on homosexualism - I don´t mind it unless its constantly shoved in my face. Yes, I don´t like being told to be patriotic, especially when the meaning borders on nationalism. But there is a difference between commercial campaigns and genuine "unintentional" patriotism. If its not sold to me like another product with a 19th-century-national-awakening smell to it, I do think "ethno" stuff is pretty cool when its edgy, original and brings something new to the table.

I got the idea for this post as I was browsing through "The Tribal Bible" by Kajira Djoumahna. Especially this passage:

"We need to honor what has been done before and defines who we are, be respectful of what is happening in our community today, and of course be passionately creative with our future." (pp 246).

Although she was speaking about American Tribal Style dance, I think its a wonderful quote to inspire any community, including the Estonian people. Sometimes we can be so busy imitating someone else, we forget to notice our own undiscovered potential. Talk about searching for the Estonian Nokia... (in case you didn´t get the reference, Estonia´s former president, late Lennart Meri, challenged Estonia in a 1999 speech to find the so-called Estonian Nokia, referring to the company that put Finland on the world map). Regardless of the fact I don´t consider myself a huge patriot, I am part of the Estonian community, and whatever I do, in some way affects that community. So why not "shake" things up a little bit? Why not develop a new belly dance style? The Estonian way!

Its not like we lack sources of inspiration. Take a look at the Seto women in Southern Estonia. I´m sure all tribal bellydancers are going "aaaaahhhh..." for the jewellery.

See the spoked coin necklaces and "eyed" brooches. Although coins or silver money have been used as jewellery in many cultures across the world, the spokes motif surrounding a coin is known only in Estonia.

Tattooing is relatively new in Estonian culture, but hey, that doesn´t mean we can´t make it look tribal! This is a tattoo made by Jarmo Nuutre from Le Moustache Tattoo Parlour and introduces an Estonian folk motif that he suggested could be defined as Estonian Tribal.

Watch the Kihnu women create and share energy with movement, singing a runic song in circle. We call ourselves "a singing people", why not incorporate rune singing to tribal style dance?

Estonian culture has a lot to offer to belly dance and we have already seen some interesting projects on stage. The group Asmarah came out with the Arabic version of the folk song "Kaera Jaan" and performed a stylized belly dance to it, and Müstika meditated on the idea of Estonian Fusion, using two great phenomena in Estonian music - Arvo Pärt and folk rock. Here´s their performance at the Oriental Dance Spring Concert in 2010:

I will end this post with a citation from Djoumahna´s book, which I´d like to dedicate to all my fellow Estonians and dancers from all over the world:

"Ultimately, the path to innovation without imitation is openness to growth and change. Be ready and willing to honor what has gone before and still embrace what is new and different. So many times I hear negative comments when dancers try to branch out and do something completely different. By this, we squelch the creative spirit within our community, and stunt our growth as an art form. If someone uses music, or costumes, or moves that we are not familiar with, or maybe not even comfortable with, we need to take a deep breath and try to imagine what the dancer is trying to convey through their choice of expression, and respect what we find. The same is true when looking inward, to our own ideas and inspirations. Acknowledge that your creative ideas are powerful and valuable, respect the contributions of others, and honor that which brought us to where our community is today." (pp 249).

Citations taken from "The Tribal Bible: Exploring the Phenomenon That is American Tribal Style Bellydance" by Kajira Djoumahna (Published by Kajira Djoumahna/BlackSheep BellyDance in 2003)

Acting and dancing - 10 components that make a talented artist

2011-08-31T03:08:00.001+03:00

I was spending an afternoon at the library and found a book entitled "Talent and Labour in an Actors Creative Work". The author, Voldemar Panso, a famous actor, director and drama professor, was one of the central figures of Estonian drama in the second half of the 20th century. This book was published in 1965, during deep Soviet period in Estonia, and although the communist ideology rings through a couple of times (quite possibly due to the pressure of state regulations), it contains an inspiring thought almost every couple of lines. The book is about acting, but as the author also states, any creative artist can relate to it.

As a dancer I was extremely inspired by this work and in this post I would like to introduce some of his ideas in a dance framework. All of the thoughts are of Voldemar Panso, I have only used my own phrasing and translation. Since the book is very rich in ideas, I only collected a few of them, so there is more left for you to discover :) You can find the book from Estonian libraries or bookstores (Rahva Raamat) in Estonian.

Hope you will find it as inspiring as I did!

What is talent? It is often described as "a divine spark" or "an inexplicable something". If you begin to really analyze talent, you find that it is a combination of different virtues.

Here are ten components that make a talented stage artist:

Memorability. A talented artist demands attention when she walks on stage. She makes you look and listen to her. The audience will remember her appearance even years after the performance.
Appeal. Stage appeal is separate from looks, accomplishments and talent. It mirrors the personality. There are artists who need only to appear on stage and the audience loves them. They are free to do anything without worrying whether the audience accepts it or not. When the personality fades, so does the appeal. Stage artists can be compared to storybooks, most of which enjoy their fame during certain periods of time or with certain types of people. But, there are artists who can be compared to "evergreen" books that appeal to everyone regardless of age or class. It is the contents that makes the difference - if they are full of life, they appeal.
Self-exploration. Talented artists are not satisfied with what they "are good at", they strive for what seems unreachable. There are no borders to their playground nor appeal, because they constantly change and expand. Much is expected from them because one can never predict what they accomplish next. They dig deep into human souls and their inner self, expanding internally. They are "self creators".
Will. Creative will is as important to an actor as competitiveness is to an athlete. Will is a source of inspiration - although its important what the person is like, its even more important what they want to be like. Willpower grows through overcoming difficulties. Not everyone has the will and persistence to work their way to true art.
Creativity. An artist should love dreaming and know how to dream. It is one of the most important creative talents. There is no creative work without imagination. There are people who only see the average and can´t see what´s near or far. A talented artist sees what most people don´t even notice, and even then they see it from their peculiar point of view. That is what keeps the audience anticipating in wonder - how will she see it now, how will she do it this time?
Right stage feeling. The no. 1 enemy of right stage feeling is muscle tension and cramp. Force should appear through restraint, much like intelligence. The paradox of the stage is - force appears in the force that you restrain it with. In order to concentrate mental force the artist needs to be physically free and relaxed. Art begins with the ability to control the muscles.
Communication. The time spent on stage is from beginning to end full of communication. This whole time the artist has to project thoughts, feelings and images and be prepared to receive them. Both the right stage feeling and communication are largely instinctive and should come naturally. Communicating with the audience can be compared to sending and receiving rays of energy, directly from eye to eye, heart to heart. The artist has to feel the audience, know who is clapping and smiling and who is not. We often consider the stage as the active and influencive part, and the audience as the passive recipient, but this is only so in the beginning. The audience, if being presented a good piece, soon becomes active and begins to influence the stage. The viewers expect to be conquered, and if that doesn´t happen, they become restless. But when the audience is drawn in, a great fluid force is formed between them and the stage. And that is when real art happens.
Intuition. It is very important that the stage artist is intuitive - they should "feel the inner" or "think with their body". Mental work is only preparation for the stage. Up there it is not the mind or logic that triumphs but sensibility and passion. Whenever the artist starts to show off their skills, the truth gets shaded and the artist becomes only a mechanical action. In this sense there are two types of artists - those who work with their piece and those who let the piece work with them. The first type work rationally, analyze and research until they completely master whatever they are going to present. The second type are much more passive. They work much less, they can hardly even remember the details, but as they listen to the music several times, the piece starts to open itself up to them, until it forms a guiding vision.
Childlike soul. All children are unique, sincere and real. Only as they grow older they begin to want to resemble someone else and lose their uniqueness. Every person, even the simplest, has something unique in them, has "their own song". A talented artist is much like a child - sensitive, perceiving the world without prejudice and free from routine. She is giving, surprising, creates effortlessly and intuitively. But she also receives, much more and faster than others. She sees what others have seen many times but have never noticed. She sees the world with exploring eyes, every day is new and different from the last. Only this way the artist can perform the same piece many times without getting dull.
Commitment. Every field has its dead points where the natural resources run out, the playfulness and romance fade away. At this point serious work with the self must begin, for the dilettante to become a master. No one but the artist herself can imagine the difficulties, doubt, searching and pain that accompany this stage. And only those who have the strength and courage to dedicate their whole life to the art will come through it. The others will remain half dilettantes, brighter or less brighter passing fashions. It may sound cruel but its true. Many reach the dead point, only a few transcend it.

How to Give Him Everything He Wants

2011-08-24T22:16:00.002+03:00

Yesterday I went to see some friends I hadn´t met for a long time. A group of guys was already sitting and chatting at the table when I arrived. As I was taking off my shoes I overheard one of them say he had a young girl client stop by at work that day. "She was an "ugly dog"," he said. Actually I was standing right there when he got to that part. With no awkwardness whatsoever everyone greeted me. I had the words "ugly dog" ringing in my head the whole evening. Could you say anything more degrading about a person you don´t even know? I wondered if they judge me too behind my back. And if they do, which witty catch phrase would I be?

I have to admit that this is not the first time I have had to endure humiliation like this. Unfortunately here in Estonia and also in Turkey, I am used to hearing people talk down to women, judge and criticize them, often on a strictly physical basis. The worse thing is, women do it too. Have you been in the situation where, for example watching TV, whether an "Idols" show, a game show, a talk show, the women in the room start criticizing another woman´s face, hair, nose, lips, arms, tummy, legs, butt, dress, shoes, make-up or any other physical characteristic? I have. And each time I am wondering how would they describe MY nose and tummy if I was on TV and they didn´t know me in person.

It seems to me that a woman has to be near perfect to avoid such criticism. And what´s even perfect? What is a perfect woman like? I thought about the female idols of the present. Could they give us an idea of what a perfect woman ought to be like?
So I searched for the covers of popular magazines read by millions of people in different languages in many countries all around the world. I typed the name of the magazine + the word "cover" into Google search bar and saved the screen image of the search results. Here´s what I got:

1. This is the Cosmopolitan magazine. Labelled as a women´s magazine, they define themselves as follows: "Cosmopolitan is the lifestylist for millions of fun fearless females who want to be the best they can in every area of their lives".

What is a perfect woman like according to Cosmo standards?

She´s definitely young and white. Although Beyonce and a couple of other non-caucasians are represented, it really doesn´t count because they look white here.
She should have big boobs, preferrably squeezed together.
She MUST have long hair. And it should be blowing in the wind.

The titles and articles promise us deeper insight into the secrets of being the best woman:

The most important stuff is written in BOLD: 100 SEX Guestions, 1000 TRUE SEX Confessions, SEX Genius, SEX Uncensored, BAD GIRL SEX, His Biggest SEX Secrets, SEX he craves, Sex Treats For Him, What Sex is Like For Him, What Sex Feels Like for Guys, What He Thinks During Sex, Have Your BEST SEX in 2008 and DIRTY SEXY SEX. But before you think its all about sex...
The perfect woman should also be healthy: Wrinkle-Proof Your Skin, Lose Weight While You Eat, Firm Up Your Beach Body Fast, Flatten Your Belly!, Get More Pleasure, Am I Normal Down There?, Is He Normal Down There?, Sex Sessions That Ended in the ER and An Orgasm That Almost Killed Her.
There are also lots of fashion topics, like We Dig Denim, Fab Hair, The Sexiest New Hair Look, Sex Love and Style, Sexy Fashion Updates, Sexy Party Dresses and Get Butt Naked!
And don´t forget the many truly empowering topics, such as: YOU ON TOP - The Fierce New Secret To Success and Selling My Pants Made Me Millions.

2. FHM describe themselves as:
"the UK's biggest men’s lifestyle media brand. The magazine is the standard-bearer among British men's magazines. With many international editions and websites, and access to consumers through print, online and on mobile, FHM is the defining voice of a global generation of young men. FHM entertains, informs, and excites readers, helping them navigate the world of increasingly complex choices in which they live." And their cover results:

So if you were a young man of the present, trying to navigate through the world of increasingly complex choices between women, FHM definitely gives you a clear picture of where to aim (pun intended).

She must definitely be young and white (or Asian)
Big boobs either squeezed together or hanging loose
She should definitely have long hair, that`s either blowing in the wind or wet. The hair can be short if she´s Asian.
If she IS wearing something on her underwear, it should be a tight black dress. Or a men´s T-shirt if she´s Asian.

In case you were worried they only show pictures of women without going any deeper into the topic, you really shouldn´t, there are plenty of women-related articles in FHM, such as: How to Win Arguments With Women, Is Your Girlfriend High Maintenance?, Is She Faking It, Lesbian Vampire Killers, Go Deep With Baseball´s Hottest Housewife, Summer of Sex and SEX!

3. Rolling Stone magazine, unlike the previous examples, is directed for a general music and popular culture loving audience, and is not gender specific. In their own words:
"Rolling Stone Magazine features music, album and artist news, movie reviews, political, economic and pop culture commentary, videos, photos, and more." Here are the covers:

You can see both men and women, famous for their talents in music, acting or politics. A refreshingly diverse display of cover people! The men are represented by different white boy bands (that includes Johnny Depp), black rappers (including prez. Obama) and Jimi Hendrix. The women don´t seem to be connected to music at all, decided from the looks of their photos. Except for Sandra Bullock who is an actress (and has no wrinkles nor pores). All the women on the covers are white, except for poor Janet Jackson who had to let some perv grope her boobs to get on the front page. So we can say that according to the Rolling Stone magazine, to be a perfect woman, you should be either the Sexiest Bad Girl, the Sexiest Good Girl or Britney Spears. And if you are none of those but have a young sexy friend who agrees to put her tongue against yours, you´re also OK.

4. Finally, let´s look at something that shouldn´t have anything to do with real life or real women. And that is called the Hustler, belonging to the pornography genre. Can you already guess what a perfect woman according to Hustler´s standards is like?

Yep. Young, white, big boobs, long hair.

We believe we are not affected by these images, but experience shows opposite. When we see or experience humiliation or violence (which can be verbal as well!) we often ignore it because we are so used to it. But that doesn´t make it right, in fact it shows that we think its OK. Stand up to it!

And for the haters, next time you´re about to criticize a woman´s appearance or call her something like "an ugly dog", please stop and remember that you are talking about a human being with a personality, with emotions. If you wouldn´t talk like that about your mother, then you have no excuse for talking like that about any woman.

Is it cheap to be glamorous?

2011-08-22T21:02:00.003+03:00

A couple of days ago I attended a friend´s party. I decided to glam up for it, wearing a dress, heels and make-up. Somewhat expectedly I got showered with comments. Some of them flattering, some unexpected. Either way thought provoking. One of the comments I´d received was, "looking like this, you probably get more male attention than you´d want."

So I spent the weekend thinking about it. I did some research on the internet, about beauty, perceptions of beauty, corporate motives in the beauty industry, about the body, especially the female body, sexuality, power and dominance and so on. I was beginning to think that perhaps it was wrong for me to dress up for the party, since that turned out to be "just what they´d expect of me". Which would, according to the stereotypes, be something like stumbling on my heels in my tight dress and falling helplessly, thus exposing my undergarments and providing light entertainment to the males around me.

I can say that I definitely don´t feel the necessity to wear make-up on a daily basis but I do like to feel glamorous on certain occasions. And when I decide to look or carry myself in a glamorous way, then it has nothing to do with submission or weakness, on the contrary. Yet I could go out and about like I was coming from a yoga class and be totally confident as well. It is the fun loving side of me that gets a kick out of being "the lady in red" for the night. The point is that I choose to look that way and as long as I am not uncomfortable, why not?

As a dancer I am very connected with my body. Also, I get to wear lots of make-up, adornment and feminine costumes on stage. But I know that it is not the costume that makes me a good dancer, nor my body shape. A dancer will grab and keep the attention of her viewers only if she is skillful, passionate and real. The same way an enchanting woman will get men´s attention whether she has heels or sneakers, make-up or not. Like a dancer on stage, with all eyes on her, she is at that moment always in the position of power.

I will use the opportunity to cite Carol Dyhouse, a research professor at the University of Sussex and author of "Glamour: Women, History, Feminism" who has said,

"Does glamour empower women, or turn them into objects? It is important to remember that women practise glamour, they are not simply the object of the male gaze. And, historically, glamorous women were just as likely to be seen as dangerous to men as victims themselves. Glamour can represent self-assertion, sexual confidence, playfulness, pleasure and delight. But in the end, nothing empowers women so much as a good education and a well-paid job." (The Guardian (21.03.2010)

Agreed.

A rite of passage - Welcome to my Blog!

2011-08-19T20:03:00.000+03:00

At some point everyone goes through a major change in their life, a transition between one stage to another. Very often it is a frightening experience, other times a joyful one. Whether it is moving to your own apartment, graduating from college or getting married, this shift marks a new chapter in your life. Fancy celebrations, such as housewarming parties, graduations and weddings can make the transitions more elaborate, but it can still be difficult to completely commit to a new role. The old "me" wants to stay with us.

Some months ago I received the wonderful news of having been accepted to one of the world´s top universities. Having been building my career as an Oriental dancer for the past 8 years a part of me felt uneasy. As if she were shaking her head in disapproval, saying "Don´t you do this... Don´t you pack me into a box and leave me dust on the shelf..." Not that she wasn´t happy for the huge opportunity I had got. She was worried what´ll happen to the "old" me, the Dancer, after I become the Scholar.

But since belly dance was and still is an important means of financial support for me, I found a useful way to combine the dance and my academic ambitions. I effectively put my skills and contacts in use to raise funds for my studies and threw a fundraiser cocktail party. The event took place in May in Alanya, Southern Turkey, hosting around 70 guests and several performers, including myself. After paying all costs I managed to raise around 500 €.

It took me only about 30 minutes into the event when I realized, after the venue had filled up with people, that it wasn´t about the money at all. Yes, I can´t deny that money is the central reason for having a fundraiser. But the fact that all these people had shown up just for me, to support my ambitions and enjoy my performances, was incredibly empowering. Being "the new girl in town" in a muslim country, earning money with belly dancing - I was definitely faced with challenges. But it all worked out well and I had gained so much more than funds for college, but genuinely supportive, invaluable friends.

Now that I am back in Estonia from Turkey, we had a small gathering with some of the talented girls from the Estonian Oriental dance community. 12 girls from different (we can say rivaling) dance organizations, all having a laugh and enjoying themselves till early morning hours, taking with them positive emotions and inspiring ideas. If being a dancer was about striving to be the most successful, most talented or most sought after, we would only end up alone. And that isn´t very inspiring. It is about sharing and supporting - sharing the passions, ideas and concerns, supporting the hopes and dreams.

So I thought, you know... Sometimes, even though your position in life changes, it doesn´t mean you have to change your being with it. Being an Oriental dancer is not a stage in my life, its a part of who I am, it is a kind of way of being. A way of moving through life with grace, dignity, confidence, in harmony with myself and others. Perhaps I am going against the rules here, but I never want it to change. I never want to lose that extraordinary feeling of bellydancing through life...